A Price too High : Tale of the Elite Class

     A wise man once said : "All men are created equal, But then some go on to buy a first class pass!".

 If only you've traveled in the red striped compartment of Mumbai local, will you understand what your author meant by the opening lines. I suggest the compartment be renamed to "White Collar Class". Its a common joke in Mumbai that the only difference between 1st and 2nd class is the "Quality of Sweat". 

I suppose the concept of first class was generated to ease the travelling ordeals of the office goers by providing them a few cushioned seats at rocketing price. A general ticket to CST from Belapur costs 20 rs. whereas a first class ticket on the same route costs 130 rs. Now, I am not good enough with numbers to calculate the difference in % but the price bar is  hilariously high. High enough to hide the fact that during peak hours every 1st class traveler is just Another Brick In the Wall. Either board the train from the source or claim your territory as soon as you rush in the train and then pour in all your positive energy to discharge a fellow traveler from his seat and then grab that seat even before that person plans to stand. During this process of grabbing the seat don't forget to activate your SuperSense mode to make sure that you are the sole proprietor of this plot and show all your acrobatic skills to slide in from within the crowd to claim the seat from it's predecessor. 

This whole idea behind this huge difference in the ticket prices is to regulate the crowd flow but this idea failed completely as the only thing that can regulate the crowd flow in Mumbai is 'Sunday Mega Block'. To travel in first class you must fulfill one or all of the following criteria:

1. Dress in office wear.

2. Have a rich face(You know you have one!)

3. Travel with a girl(The first two points are applied to her as well)

4. Never ever ask for the Fourth seat.

5. Use deodorants.

If you fail in all of the aforementioned criteria, you will be discarded right at the compartment's foot-board by some self nominated 'Guards of the First Class'."Aey yeh 1st class hai, Aage jao" is what you'll hear frequently. But at times its nearly impossible to confine the infinite zeal of the mass to travel in any compartment they get. This usually happens after a mega block on Sunday evening. Also let me remind you, "What sugar is to an ant, the first class is to a TTE". They can smell a ticket less fella and the amount of mercy they generate is inversely proportional to the ticket less guy's appearance. (Read point 1 & 2 above).

Unlike my other posts where I commence with a story, I would like to close this post with a recent story:

Day : Sunday

Weather : Overcast

Situation : Returning from Kurla after watching a horror movie(Read continuing the horror)

The station was as crowded as a poultry farm and the chickens grew at an alarming pace until the platform could afford no more. Then arrived the train and being the leader of the Spartans I charged much before than anyone else and luckily found a seat to see the chicken's filling the first class compartment. The train came to life and every thing was usual except that I wasn't dressed in formals and the crowd was more varied than other days. After a few minutes I dozed off only to be awaken a few seconds later by some noise. As I noticed later the noise was generated when some guys tried to run away while the train was at halt in Chembur.I could not understand the matter until I saw some dudes standing near the entry way holding a tiny timid man by his collar. Thinking smartly I took the timid man as a pickpocket who carried an equally timid fate, when suddenly another dude from the crowd slapped him so tight that he nearly fell. Now I was sure about my notion of him being a pickpocket. Then another slap-punch-slap-slap-punch until a tall man intervened and held him by his collar to prevent further atrocities. I tried to decipher the ongoing conversation but in vain. When the train halted at next station the timid man was carried away by his angel in disguise which left me more curious to know the exact scenario. I left my seat to approach a man who was earlier lending a helping hand in the thrashing process. On knowing about the scene I was as shocked as the timid man must have been on receiving the first slap. Evidently, there was a TTE checking tickets in the first class compartment when he caught a group of 3 without ticket(they possessed the 2nd class ticket though). As the train arrived at Chembur, two of them manged to slip past the crowd and jump of the train whereas our protagonist Mr. Timid was held by the same 'Self nominated Guards of 1st class'. While he tried to defend himself, one man who was a legitimate traveler of first class  lost his temper and slapped Mr. Timid for intruding his territory and then the others followed suite. 

Thus, the city was once again saved by some good fellas, from a man who was just too desperate to reach his destination. Long Live the Elite Class!

P.S - On the day of this incident it was not only Mr. Timid who was travelling without ticket. There was one more smartass in the same compartment who had stumbled upon some masala for his blog. A famous hindi song depicts it the best: "Time time ki baat hai pyaare, tu ragda ya mai ragda!"

Khush Raho!